i want three kids. three boys, because i cant imagine mysefl raising a girl. i never understood them much anways. i want a house far from everything, with lots of green space untouched by people, with a big german shephard i can wrap my arms around. i want a giant library with a ladder filled with classic books with yellow pages, hardcover with gold stenciling on the spine- no fancy cover art or a paragraph telling you waht to expect on the back. i want a COMFORTABLE sofa, not one that cost a bunch of money and is only there for show; a ratty old red one that you sink into. i want a record player in the corner of my living room with every single vinyl i could possibly want, but ESPECIALLY the wall, the jimi hendrix experience, sgt peppers lonely hearts band, born to run, and the song remains the same. i want a fireplace that crackles, an old one with a chimney not that electic shit people get now because its much less of a hassle. i want a pick up truck that groans when i start it up. i want wrinkles on my face when im old to serve as proof of how much i once laughed. i want a lawn chair and lemonade in the summer and hot cocoa and a quilt in the winter. i want every single DVD i have ever wanted boxed in a shelf beneath my old and not plasma or HD or whatever it is now TV. i want posters to decorate my walls, the same as when i was a teenager. i want a husband who i can be in love with my whole life. i want to be away from it all, but also close enough to never get bored or sick of the peaceful serenity; to know and be well aware of whats going on but to play no part in it. i want to look outside my window at night and see the sky painted with stars, no city lights to drown them out.
the way we’re going, im not even sure if there will be a place like this or the people to make it happen. all you can do is watch each year pass till then and hope the next will not follow in the same footsteps..
you see, i used to want to change the world. i wanted to make a difference. now i understand that maybe that was shooting too high, and maybe just being a part of it all is enough. because perhaps it doesnt matter as much as we think it does, leaving a mark once youve gone, but more so the marks you made while you were there.
